Application For Permission To Date My Daughter.

[KitKat]

Parents, file this one!

  http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/datedtr.htm 

[Ginafish]

HA! I love the four to six years for processing! I think I need an application for my son's prospective dates too that asks questions like: "How many times a day is it acceptable to call or text or im? What's the acceptable cut off time for phone calls? "

And whole other slew of things...*sigh* Do you think there is an all boys or all girls schools somewhere that is technologically cut off from the world so kids don't know the opposite sex exists?? Maybe in Canada? Iceland? The Sahara Desert? Hmm...

[In2Kermit]

An ex-boyfriend of mine actually filled one of those out, and gave it to my dad. He filled it out stupidly, saying he had a van, a water bed, that abstinence meant that he could do whatever he wanted, etc. It was interesting.

[Soulessaint]

This is a good one! Do they have one for, Sons? Thanks, Kitkat. Take care. Gbya

P.S.
Have you noticed how sons are treated differently than daughters? Not everyone does this, but a good bit.

[Lazlow]

What's wrong with vans or trucks with oversized tires?

[Turtle]

filled out for awsome:
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME: Turtle
DATE OF BIRTH:13/7/1993

HEIGHT: Like, tall 

WEIGHT: Skinny @#$% 

IQ: Couldn't figure it out. 

GPA: The @#$%?

SOCIAL SECURITY # @#$% you 

DRIVERS LICENSE # dude, I'm 14

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES: haha, as if

HOME ADDRESS: If I tell you, can I see your daughter?

CITY/STATE:(non gheto) Sydney 

ZIP: 2034

Do you have parents? Yes 
If No, explain:
_______________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married?
like 16 or something

If less than your age, explain ________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Do you own a van? not to my knowlege

A truck with oversized tires? no

A waterbed? can I have one?

A pickup with a mattress in the back? no but my dad does.

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a navel ring? not to the best of my recolection.

A tattoo? I should hope not

(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you:

to arrive latter than intended - oxford english dictionary

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

Bullet proof vest

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

Good question

______________________________________________________________________

Church you attend
The bush we stashed our bong

How often you attend
as often as possible

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? never

mother? never

pastor? n/a

Answer by filling in the blank.  Please answer freely, all answers are
confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

ear lobe

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

what exactly are you insinuating?

C: A woman's place is in the:

kitchen

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

criminal past

What do you want to do IF you grow up?

have sex with your daughter


What is the current going rate of a hotel room?

Ask your daughter. She'll know.

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER
TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


TurtleSignature (that means sign your name, moron!)

Thank you for your interest.  Please allow four to six years for
processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.  Please do not
try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you
injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two
gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch
your back).

[supea]

lol Turtle, looks like they're not giving their girl to you if you continue like dat :'D

[Turtle]

It would apear the post as been edited slightly. Censorship! Lmfao